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Your Most Important Table

Your Most Important Table

It’s been so fun to hear from people all over about what they’re getting out of Bring It Out. And yet there’s one concept that has resonated the most with people. And we’re going to spend the next 2 weeks talking about it.

I want you to think about your life as occurring across a number of tables. You have your family table, and you can’t really change who gets to sit at that one. You have your work table, but unless you’re the boss, you don’t get a total say on who sits at that one either. Hopefully you have a table of friends and no one should be sitting there unless you want them to. You have a table of neighbors and whether they’re amazing or not so much, I’m guessing you don’t get to choose your neighbors.

While all these tables are important in your life, I want to introduce you to the table I think is the most important.

Your wisdom table is the most important table in your life.

Whoever is currently sitting at your wisdom table will determine so much about your life. This table will determine who is at your relationship table and how you live within those relationships. It will lead to how you engage your coworkers and your neighbors. Getting the right people at your wisdom table could even lead to financial prosperity, while getting the wrong people there could lead to financial ruin. Get the right people around you and your faith in God will likely be much stronger. Surround yourself with those who lack wisdom and you might be convinced you don’t even need God in your life.

Nearly every for-profit business and nonprofit organization has some kind of board of directors. In the best organizations, a board is there to advise, make decisions, and hold individuals accountable to lead the company in the best possible way. The most helpful boards are those made up of people who are able to provide wisdom and insight for running the company, school, church, or other type of organization. If a major company refused to have a board or filled the board seats with those who lacked vital wisdom for running the business, we would all think that is a foolish decision.

Now I want you to think about something much more valuable to you than any organization in the world – your life. If we think it’s foolish when a company places individuals on its board who lack the wisdom needed to navigate the future of the company, what do we call it when we seat people at our wisdom table who have no business being there? We should think that is foolish as well.

What if you began to think about assembling a personal board of directors for your life? This is exactly what I’m getting at when I refer to a wisdom table. There’s a scene in history I want to take you to as a way of showing you the difference between a helpful wisdom table and a disastrous one.

Solomon, who was known as the wisest person to ever live, died around 930 BC. Rehoboam, his son, ascended to the throne and became king. His coronation was to take place in Shechem. And he’s going to have to decide what kind of wisdom table he will build for his life.

1 Kings 12:1-14 Rehoboam went to Shechem, for all Israel had gone there to make him king. When Jeroboam son of Nebat heard this (he was still in Egypt, where he had fled from King Solomon), he returned from Egypt. So they sent for Jeroboam, and he and the whole assembly of Israel went to Rehoboam and said to him: “Your father put a heavy yoke on us, but now lighten the harsh labor and the heavy yoke he put on us, and we will serve you.” Rehoboam answered, “Go away for three days and then come back to me.” So the people went away. Then King Rehoboam consulted the elders who had served his father Solomon during his lifetime. “How would you advise me to answer these people?” he asked. They replied, “If today you will be a servant to these people and serve them and give them a favorable answer, they will always be your servants.” But Rehoboam rejected the advice the elders gave him and consulted the young men who had grown up with him and were serving him. He asked them, “What is your advice? How should we answer these people who say to me, ‘Lighten the yoke your father put on us’?” The young men who had grown up with him replied, “These people have said to you, ‘Your father put a heavy yoke on us, but make our yoke lighter.’ Now tell them, ‘My little finger is thicker than my father’s waist. My father laid on you a heavy yoke; I will make it even heavier. My father scourged you with whips; I will scourge you with scorpions.’” Three days later Jeroboam and all the people returned to Rehoboam, as the King had said, “Come back to me in three days.” The king answered the people harshly. Rejecting the advice given him by the elders, he followed the advice of the young men and said, “My father made your yoke heavy; I will make it even heavier. My father scourged you with whips; I will scourge you with scorpions.”

I love that Rehoboam is humble enough and wise enough to seek the advice of others who have the experience he is lacking. He intuitively knows he needs to build his wisdom table as he steps into this significant position. He first consults the elders who have the experience he is lacking. They give him great advice about how he can lead the nation as he steps into his kingship. I wish I could tell you he kept these elders at his wisdom table and did everything they told him to do. However, the text we just read says, “But Rehoboam rejected the advice the elders gave him and consulted the young men who had grown up with him.”

This is so tragic to me, and yet I see people doing this all the time in our world today. Rehoboam has access to actual wisdom. He has a group of experienced advisers who are willing to serve him and help him in any way they can. But Rehoboam rejects their advice! Let that sink in.

We can have access to wisdom and still not access that wisdom.

Rehoboam removes the elders from his wisdom table and gives their positions to the friends he grew up with. Don’t get me wrong. I’m sure he and his friends had a ton of fun growing up together – just imagine what it would have been like to grow up as a friend to one of Solomon’s sons. I’m grateful for my childhood friends too, but I’m not sure that automatically qualifies them to sit at my wisdom table today. He ends up rejecting the advice given to him by the elders and following the advice of his young friends.

He dismisses wise people from his wisdom table and instead opts to put fools in their place. Here’s the problem with doing this. If you put all fools at your wisdom table, then everyone is likely to agree on how you should live or how you should handle a given situation. And when everyone sitting there is in full agreement, you become convinced that solution must be the wisest one. In reality, that couldn’t be further from the truth. What does this foolish decision by Rehoboam lead to?

2 Chronicles 12:1 After Rehobaom’s position as king was established and he had become strong, he and all Israel with him abandoned the law of the LORD.

There are many things that likely led to this happening, but I think it can be traced back to what Rehoboam did with his wisdom table. As you think about your future, what if the same is true when it comes to your wisdom table?

Proverbs 13:20 Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.

Who’s walking the path of life with you? One of the most disheartening things I have observed is who people let sit at their wisdom table. When I see people I care about taking relationship advice from someone who has sabotaged every relationship they have ever been in, I want to say, “Please don’t.” When I see people in our church taking advice about spiritual growth from people who talk a big faith game but don’t live it out, I want to say, “They aren’t who you think they are.” When I notice friends taking on the financial habits of those who are foolish with their money, I want to scream, “Please stop!”

How do we make sure we build a wisdom table that will help us live the life we were designed for?

To construct a wisdom table that will help you thrive in every area of your life, it’s crucial to learn what wisdom is. Some people think wisdom is synonymous with knowledge. It’s not less than knowledge, but it is so much more. It refers to action, skill, or applied knowledge. I love what Eugene Peterson said about wisdom:

“Wisdom is the art of living skillfully in whatever actual conditions we find ourselves.” -Eugene Peterson

Wisdom isn’t based on your IQ, education, accomplishments, or wealth. Wisdom can lead to all of those, but none of them will guarantee that you have wisdom. It’s why it’s become so common in our world today to see really smart people do really foolish things. They didn’t lack intellect; they were just bankrupt when it came to wisdom.

Proverbs 4:7 The beginning of wisdom is this: Get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get understanding.

The wisest thing you can do with your life is gain wisdom, no matter what you have to pay for it. Wise people know how to navigate life when there is no formula to be found. And one of the best places to gain wisdom should be your wisdom table. But who belongs at this all-important table?

Consider those who see God as the ultimate source of wisdom.

Everyone seated at your wisdom table has an ultimate source they look to in their lives. If God is the Creator of our purpose and the wisest being in the universe, it makes sense he is the originator of our wisdom also.

The question I get the most on this point is, “Does someone really have to be a Christian to have a seat at your wisdom table?” I believe God can give his wisdom to and through people who don’t have a present faith in him. However, I would still want to  have the majority of the seats at my wisdom table occupied by those who do see God as the ultimate source of wisdom. And now, you might be thinking, “Okay, all I need to do is find some Christians and get them to my table.” Please don’t do that; there are some other qualifications they need to meet.

Make sure you see the fruit of their wisdom.

If you can observe the fruit of someone’s wisdom, they likely make a great candidate for your wisdom table. I’ve met many people who have theories on wisdom yet often don’t apply this wisdom to their own lives. I’ve met others who have all kinds of thoughts on wisdom but don’t have the experience to back up those ideas.

In the world we’re living in today, it seems anyone can become an “expert” on whatever topic they choose. They can write a book, have many followers on social media, and offer their opinion on an unlimited number of topics. Before you ask someone to take a seat at your wisdom table, observe the fruit of their wisdom. You can do this by looking at their relationships, their work, their character, and the kinds of decisions they make.

Invite those who genuinely want what’s best for you.

You should never put someone at your wisdom table who doesn’t have your best interests in mind. I’m not talking about having yes-men and yes-women who will go along with whatever you propose. That won’t be helpful either. I’m talking about people who genuinely love you, and because they love you, they will always be willing to tell you the truth. Surround yourself with individuals who truly want good for you and are committed to helping you thrive in life. You cannot put people at your wisdom table if they are afraid to be honest with you. It is best to find people who will live out the combination of both encouragement and challenge in your life. So much of the growth in my life can be attributed to being challenged by people who I know have my best interests in mind.

Maybe you’re now so afraid of having the wrong people at your wisdom table that you are considering not having anyone seated there. You think, “I’ll just figure out life and faith and relationships and work on my own.” That’s not a good idea:

Proverbs 12:15 The way of fools seems right to them, but the wise listen to advice.

Will you prioritize wisdom in your life? Next week, we will get into the practical ways you can customize your own wisdom table.

For today – who’s at the head of your table?

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