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The Other Side of Discipline

The Other Side of Discipline

While many of us have good intentions, it takes habits to carry out our commitments. Knowing this is true, once a year we do an recurring giving initiative. Recurring giving is a powerful way to make a pre-decision for our practice of generosity. We currently have right at 300 individuals or couples or families who give to the mission of Epic on a recurring basis. Our goal over the next three weeks is to add 30 recurring givers. Giving consistently establishes a habit of generosity in your life and it helps our church plan for future ministry. We are so grateful for the hundreds of people who already do this. If you would like to join them, you can let us know of your commitment by completing the card in your seats and we’ll turn those in towards the end of this gathering. And for those of you watching online, you can find this same card in a digital format by going to epicsf.com/recurringgiving.

There are certain words, that when we hear them, evoke joy and all kinds of other positive emotions. Words like: bonus, vacation, brunch, date night, and Saturday. And then there are other words we hear that do not evoke joy or any other positive emotion. And because I love you so much, I thought we’d spend the next 30 minutes or so talking about one of these words. Seriously though, what if we have a negative connotation of this word simply because we’ve misunderstood its purpose and intent?

I’m calling this message, “The Other Side of Discipline”. Discipline isn’t a word we tend to have warm feelings about. Discipline reminds us too much of the word punishment. Many of us think about what we experienced growing up when we were disciplined by our parents or our teachers. At the very least, the word “discipline” conjures up a whole lot of work we have to do in some area of our lives.

I’m not saying that discipline isn’t painful, but what if pain is just part of the package you receive when you engage in discipline? What if there’s another side of discipline? We’re still in this series we’ve entitled Don’t Shrink Back. The big idea is that we want to keep making progress in our faith. And here’s why we must talk about discipline.

Spiritual maturity or being fully formed in the way of Jesus will never happen without discipline.

What would you need to be convinced of in order to begin seeing discipline as a positive idea in your life?

Hebrews 12:4-11 In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. And have you completely forgotten this word of encouragement that addresses you as a father addresses his son? It says, “My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.” Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father? If you are not disciplined – and everyone undergoes discipline – then you are not legitimate, not true sons and daughters at all. Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of spirits and live! They disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

Life is hard for these people. They are experiencing persecution. They are tempted to throw in the towel on their faith. And the writer reminds them that in their struggle against sin, they haven’t had to shed their blood yet – an obvious reference to what Jesus went through to pay for our sins. He references their “struggle with sin”. Many of us believe that our struggle with sin is a sign of our lack of spiritual growth. But it’s more likely that the absence of struggle with sin would be an indicator of a lack of spiritual growth.

Do not be discouraged when you struggle with sin…it means you’re engaging the fight.

Even if you’ve given into temptation over and over again in some area, don’t give up. Engage the fight. What Satan wants you to think is that you’ll never overcome the thing that keeps holding you back from who God is calling you to be. Jesus said something powerful to Peter one day about all of this.

Luke 22:31-32 “Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift all of you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers.”

Satan asking Jesus if he can have his way with you.

Jesus praying that your faith may not fail.

Jesus knows what Peter is about to do – deny Jesus.

Jesus does not give up on Peter and He does not give up on you.

Jesus gives us a mission that as we grow stronger in our faith, we can use our strength to strengthen the faith of others.

Our greatest temptation is to forget who we are to God.

The truest thing about you is who God says you are. And yet, it is so easy for us to forget this. We begin to think that the truest thing about us is our worst moments or who someone else says we are or we let ourselves be most defined by how far we still have to go. So the author asks here, “Have you completely forgotten that God addresses you as sons and daughters?”

So when God disciplines us, he’s not doing it as a judge sentencing us to time in prison for punishment. He’s disciplining us as children for the sake of us becoming more like what He is. (v.6) “The Lord disciplines the one he loves.” God is treating you as his children. In fact, if you aren’t being disciplined by God, you aren’t His true sons and daughters.

Then comes a part of the text I think we have to talk about. In verse 9 we read, “Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it.” Some of you received what your parents called “discipline”, but it was actually punishment or even abuse. And the reality for you is that the word “father” is a trigger word for you because of the trauma you’ve experienced.

If that’s you, I want to say a couple of things to you. First, I’m terribly sorry for anything done to you that’s caused this. Also, I believe that God wants to paint a fresh picture of Fatherhood and Motherhood in your life. I believe He wants to primarily do this by letting you know the kind of Father He longs to be in your life. And secondarily, I believe you have an opportunity to have spiritual fathers and mothers in this community who can love you and encourage you in your faith.

How would your view of discipline change if you started seeing it as a gift from your Heavenly Father?

Our culture has sought to define love in a way that at first seems really kind.

Our culture’s definition of love: allowing anyone to do anything as long as they don’t harm someone else

If we’re honest, sometimes we wish this is how God would define love. “God, just leave me alone and let me do my thing. Let me do whatever I want to with my mind, my body, my money, my time, my attention, my lifestyle.” If God allowed us to do this, would it really be love?

Would a good parent ever suggest to their child that they do whatever they want to?

God disciplines us because He loves us and He wants us to participate in the life that is truly life. God does this FOR OUR GOOD. Satan wants you and I to believe that life gets hard because God doesn’t love us. But discipline in our lives is a sign that God actually does love us. God’s discipline allows us to share in his holiness. And then we get the verse that so wonderfully sums up everything we need to know about how discipline works.

Hebrews 12:11 No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

You will pay the price now or you will pay the price later, but you will pay the price.

How many things did I avoid doing for years that caused me to eventually pay a high price? So many. And yet, there came a day when I decided I would embrace whatever discipline was necessary for what I wanted most. I’ve applied this lesson to so many things where I just have this saying, “I will do whatever _____________ demands.” I will do whatever good leadership demands. Whatever a good marriage demands. Whatever discipleship demands. Whatever good parenting demands. Whatever good preaching demands. Whatever overflowing generosity demands.

Think about discipline like you think about a much-needed surgery. Can surgery be quite painful? Absolutely. Why then would someone subject themselves to that kind of pain? Because of what the pain will lead to – healing, strength, and an ability to thrive that is not presently available to them without the surgery.

What are you avoiding now that you will regret still having later?

Developing your life with God. Starting to practice generosity. Becoming more self-controlled in your sexual thoughts and actions. Becoming less angry and more patient. I know it’s painful to start new disciplines, but it’s more painful to forfeit what these disciplines will produce.

You can choose to stay on this side of the discipline, but you’ll forfeit so much.

There’s enough grace to make it through the painful moments of discipline. And there’s enough grace to celebrate all you’ll receive on the other side of discipline.

Receive God as your Father through what Jesus has done for you.

John 1:12 Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God.

What have you been avoiding that you now know you can’t avoid any longer? Name it and tell at least one other person who can pray for you and encourage you. Have a vision for your future formation that is beautiful enough that you’ll be willing to pay any price to have it become your reality.

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