They say that our past decisions are the best way to predict our future decisions. Got it.

We’re told that without a vision, people perish. That’s actually in the Bible. Okay.

And financial advisors are telling us just how much we need to put away to secure the future we want. I get that.

Our past decisions do matter. But what if it’s the people who are present in our lives that will best predict our future?

And I believe without a vision, people do perish. But could it also be true that without the right people, people perish?

And I’m all for being financially positioned for the future. But what if it’s our relationships that will most determine our joy and security in the future?

Show me your friends and I’ll show you your future. Speaking of your future:

“Numerous studies have shown that one of the great markers for happiness among people at midlife and beyond is people who can rattle off the names of a few authentic, close friends.” -Arthur Brooks, From Strength to Strength

The future of your happiness matters, but something else matters way more to me – the future of your faith. I’ve had the privilege of leading this church for over 15 years. I’ve seen so many glorious things. And I’ve seen so many heartbreaking realities. I have watched people I love and care about walk away from their faith in Jesus. For many of them, this happened for one of two primary reasons – either they isolated themselves or the people they were in closest relationship with pulled them away from their faith.

What if the future of your faith is determined by your closest relationships?

I care deeply about the future of your faith and you should too. This is why we’re starting a new series today called Find Your People, Find Your Future. Here’s the big idea as we launch this series:

You can make decisions in this season that will build a future you will be thrilled to live in. You can also make decisions in this season that will build a future you will be less than thrilled to live in.  

Whoever you are and wherever you find yourself on the faith journey, we believe that God has designed your life for a specific purpose. We believe that you were created to know and follow Jesus. I want to encourage you to pursue Jesus and invest in your relationship with Him. But Jesus actually wants way more for your life than just a relationship with Him. Listen to His own words about this:

John 13:34-35 “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

We cannot be disciples if we do not love one another. We cannot love one another if we aren’t living in community with each other. Every one of us has this innate need to be seen, known, and loved. But far too often, we settle for way less than this.

I also think it’s important to point out that it is impossible for all of us in this church to all know each other. You cannot know most people here, but you need to know some people here. Most people cannot know you, but some people need to know you.

We want to build whatever structure is necessary so you can be known and cared for here. We reject the idea that you can’t have community in a larger church, but we do know the structure must be different at this size and scale. We are praying about this, thinking about this, and pursuing coaching on how to provide the community we all need, even as our church continues to reach more people.  

Here is why we want to be committed to this as individuals and as an entire Epic Church community. When the pages of the Bible open, we see a God who is creating the world. Not only does He create; He actually evaluates and grades His creative work. To quote the phrase from Genesis 1 – “And God saw that it was good.” But this is not how God viewed His creation of the individual human he had made.

Genesis 2:18 The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”

While this leads to God’s design for marriage, this pronouncement is about way more than “you just need to find a spouse”. It’s about the state of the individual. Just think about what was present around the man before this moment. This human being is living in the physical presence of God. And God had made a garden for him – which included all kinds of trees that were beautiful to look at and were good for food. He gave him good work to do. And yet, God Himself makes this announcement that it’s not enough.

So God’s like, “It’s not good for you to be alone.” And we respond with, “But God, it’s so hard to be with others. And besides God, I have this AI companion now and it treats me so kindly and never demands anything from me.”

The data suggests that San Francisco is the 2nd most densely populated city in the United States. For clarity, this means that there are more people per square mile here than any city in our nation, except for New York City.

How is it possible to live in a city populated by so many people and still feel like we are all alone?

While we are so grateful for much of the technological advancements in our world today, I believe part of my role here is to continually call us back to our divine design. We were made for God and for each other. One commentator offers this based on Genesis 2:18:

Isolation is not the divine norm for human beings; community is the creation of God.

Has isolation become the norm for you? Even while living in a city where you’re surrounded by crowds? Does your life consist of only an online world, where you’re living in a simulation of a life you can kind of control and try to make feel real? Are you addicted to work as a way of numbing or avoiding the deep relational longing inside of you? Maybe you’ve tried the close relationship thing, but after a deep wounding from a friend, the only relational commitment you now live with is to protect yourself from anyone and everyone.

Do you know it’s possible to show up here every Sunday and still live in isolation? If you show up here on the regular, but you remain anonymous, there is something missing – in your life and in this Epic community.

If the God who loves you tells you that it is not good for you to be alone, what do you imagine the devil wants for your life?

Exactly. How will he do it? He will do anything to keep you isolated. He will use relational pain from a previous season to make you think you should never get close to anyone again. He will give you alternatives to living in community and deceive you into thinking it will work long-term.

The Atlantic published an article that states that 25% of adults under age 30 have turned to AI for companionship. Just think about this – creating a machine friend that you can control so your relational needs are met. This is not what God had in mind when He designed you to be a human who flourishes in life-giving relationships.

Or he’ll do to you what he’s done to so many people in this city – convince you that achieving and accomplishing matter way more than investing in relationships. Besides, if you get all that dopamine, all that recognition, and all that wealth – it’ll make up for the absence of human relationships in your life. Or will it?

Ecclesiastes 4:7-12 Again I saw something meaningless under the sun: There was a man all alone; he had neither son nor brother. There was no end to his toil, yet his eyes were not content with his wealth. “For whom am I toiling,” he asked, “and why am I depriving myself of enjoyment?” This too is meaningless – a miserable business! Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

He sees a man who is all alone and calls what he sees meaningless. He sees a man who lived like the meaning of life was to have more. There was no end to his toil. Why? Because with all the more he gets, it’s still never enough. And he doesn’t even know why he’s doing it or for whom? He has no one to share his life or wealth with.

Who are you honestly sharing your life with?

2 > 1. Or as we say here at Epic, “Together is better.” If one falls when alone, who will help him? Or how will he keep warm without sleeping by another? This is referencing how travelers would have to sleep next to each other on a cold night to stay warm. And then there’s the protection element.

We need at least a few people we can share our lives with at the deepest level. I need this. What I’m preaching today, I have always preached. But if I’m completely honest, I haven’t always lived it. I’m way more comfortable meeting the needs of others than asking someone to meet my needs. But over the past several months, I’ve given up on trying to be Mr. Independent. I can’t do life in isolation. I have opened up more. I have asked for more help and relational covering than ever before. And here’s what I’ve received – deep relational care from a few others in my life. I’ve been vulnerable and this hasn’t caused people to run away. It’s made them show up to care for me and support me. It’s felt risky and it’s been so worth it.

And today, I want to urge you to take the same risk. Be known here. Find your people here. Build your future here. Decide that you will step into community here.

The only way we can offer this to everyone in our Epic community is if we have enough people step up to lead these smaller community groups here at Epic. Would you be willing to play your part so people can step into what they’ve been designed for? We will train you, coach you, and care for you. If you’re willing to consider this, you can go to our Epic Group Leader Interest Form.

To live by yourself or only for yourself is to choose a life opposite of the one God made you for.

Response:

-Know Jesus.

-Be known here.

-Help others be known here.