At what age did you become an adult? I’m not asking at what age were you regarded as an adult in the eyes of the law, or at what age were you able to buy cigarettes or alcohol – we all know that. But to reference the title of this series, at what age DID YOU MATURE from a state of adolescence to adulthood?

Some of you are like, I’m not sure I’ve graduated yet. Or you’re looking at your spouse or the person you came with thinking, They definitely haven’t made that transition yet.

Before the pandemic, research was starting to come out showing that twenty-five was the new eighteen. Articles about extended adolescence were being written. This is also about the time that the word “adulting” became overused – which was not referring to the process of becoming an adult, but simply to doing a grown-up activity (like laundry or grocery shopping). Having adults use that word was sad, to say the least.

San Francisco is especially known for this delayed adolescence. I found several articles that associated the Peter Pan Syndrome with our city. The Peter Pan Syndrome is a term used to describe men who still act like boys (or women who still act like girls). Now I don’t need to convince you of that. All of you are like, Peter Pan, yup, that fits. A couple of weeks ago our family went to Dolores Park, and I had this thought: San Francisco feels like a playground with no adults. It feels like this is how a bunch of teenagers would behave if parents weren’t present. And you’re like, At Dolores Park, I could see how you can come to that conclusion.

Now, I’m not here to knock San Francisco or to tell anyone in a demeaning way that they need to grow up. But I do want to draw parallels between the child-to-adult maturation process and our spiritual life and development. Just as it is important for children to become adults. It’s even more important that we go from being spiritual babies to fully mature followers of Jesus.

Paul said it this way: When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. (1 Corinthians 13:11)

Question for you: In regards to your spiritual journey, have you put childish ways behind you?

Now for some of you, the answer is clearly no. No disrespect. I’m not saying that because I think you are immature, but simply because many of you are just getting started. And it doesn’t matter at what age you become a Christian, or how successful or knowledgeable you were before becoming a follower of Jesus, the moment you cross the line of faith you are a baby in the Kingdom of God. (Jesus told Nicodemus that he must be born again.) So it’s okay to be a baby – don’t let that discourage you – because all children eventually grow.

But unlike physical children who grow like weeds by practically doing nothing, you will not grow in your life with God without doing something. You and I cannot be passive when it comes to our spiritual growth and development. What we hope you will come to realize in this series is that growth is absolutely necessary. Regardless of where we are in the maturity process – whether just getting started or having reached full adulthood – we have to keep growing. When we stop growing we don't just stay the same, we actually move backwards. Things that are stagnant eventually decline. You know this to be true. Stop working out physically, and watch what happens to your body. Stop working on a relationship, watch it plateau – and then eventually, fall apart. Stop growing spiritually, and watch a once vibrant faith grow cold and become stale.

In all honesty, today I’m less concerned with where you are in the process – whether baby, child, or adult. But I care deeply that you are headed in the right direction – that you are actively seeking to grow. So that’s what I want to encourage you to do today. Let’s turn to our main passage.

Ephesians 4:7, 11-16

7 But to each one of us grace has been given as Christ apportioned it.…

11 So Christ himself gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the pastors and teachers, 12 to equip his people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up 13 until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.

14 Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of people in their deceitful scheming. 15 Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. 16 From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.

I want to emphasize two important points found in this passage; which by the way, is one long sentence in the original Greek language (from verse 11 to verse 16). Here is the first theme that is spotlighted: The aim of our faith is Christlike maturity. Just look at the language again: at the end of verse 12(b) and 13 it says that the goal is for the body of Christ (us) to be BUILT UP, to become MATURE, and attain to the WHOLE MEASURE of the FULLNESS of Christ. Verse 15 adds that what we are after is that we will GROW to become in every respect the MATURE body of… Christ. Verse 16 also mentions growing and being built up.

It’s all over the place. And here’s what that tells us. The goal of our faith is not simply salvation. We can’t just be satisfied with believing in Jesus and escaping hell. No. The goal is maturity; growth; and being transformed more and more into the image of Jesus.

And as a church, it’s important to note that the focus of the growth mentioned here is not quantitative. It’s not about the church growing in numbers – although, there is a place for that. But quantitative growth without qualitative growth falls short of the calling that God has for us. This is why our vision is what it is: Our vision is to see an increasing number of people in San Francisco orient their entire lives around Jesus. There you have quantitative (increasing number) and qualitative (orienting life around Jesus). Both are important.

Now verse 14 shows what happens when the qualitative growth is missing. When we don’t grow we get stuck as …infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of people in their deceitful scheming. Children, unfortunately, are gullible. Positively, they are able to have great faith and believe in wondrous things. But in their innocence, they also can be easily deceived because they lack the discernment to distinguish truth from lies. And you see this play out in young Christians who believe bits and pieces of the Bible, but then they sprinkle in a little of this worldview, and a little of this philosophy, a little of what this prominent voice has to say, and by the end you are nowhere near the gospel of Jesus. They are tossed back and forth because every new teaching sounds persuasive and pleasing to the ear. That’s the gullibility of immaturity that Paul warns about here.

But the mature are characterized by something else: …unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God… (v.13) We will talk about the unity piece – us working together – in a moment. But let me first pull out the phrase knowledge of the son of God. I was having lunch with a friend the other day, and I don’t know how we got into this conversation, but he mentioned: I don’t think I became an adult until my late twenties or early thirties. And then he said this: It was at about that age that I truly began to KNOW myself.

Hear me: Your maturation into spiritual adulthood is tied to you knowing Jesus. That is why the aim of our faith is not just maturity; it is Christlike maturity. And knowing Jesus means more than just knowing about him; or even believing in him. Somewhat mockingly, James writes, You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that—and shudder. (James 2:19) Belief is not enough.

Knowledge of the Son of God implies relational intimacy. In writing about the intimacy between Adam and Eve, the King James translation puts it this way: And Adam KNEW Eve his wife… (Gen 4:1a KJV) People who reach Christlike maturity know Jesus in a deep way; and they have been changed by that knowledge.

Now here is the second point we find in our passage: Growth is only possible in community. Just like our first point, there’s a lot of language that points to this being the case.

Verse 13 has growth as a corporate goal: …until we ALL reach unity in the faith…. The point is that I’m not just concerned about my growth; I care about all of us growing.

Then you also have the body metaphor found in verse 16. Paul describes the church as a body that grows when it is …joined and held together by every supporting ligament…. Growth isn't individualistic—it's interconnected.

But the point I want to emphasize the most is that growth happens when there is mutual contribution. Verse 16 closes with the line that growth happens …as each part does its work.

Now verse 11 is a classic passage that lists some of the gifted men and women given by Jesus to the church: apostles, prophets, evangelists, pastors, and teachers. We don’t have time to get into each one of those. But it’s important to note that these roles – or people – are not the only ones who have received gifts and work (assignments) to do. I included verse 7 in our reading because it shows that Christ has given EACH OF US gifts – or as he says here, grace – to also do work.

So notice the pattern: God gives gifts to some, so they can equip others – who also have been gifted by God – to do the work of the ministry. It's a chain of spiritual investment in one another. The pastor's job isn't to do all the ministry while everyone else watches. But their job is to train, equip, and invite the church to use their gifts. (This is what we are aiming to do by asking you to join a team.) The teacher's role isn't to hoard knowledge, but to pass it on so others can teach. The evangelist doesn't evangelize alone, but inspires and equips the whole body to share their faith. In the family of God everyone has a role; everyone contributes; no one is meant to sit on the sidelines.

But what happens if we isolate? When you disconnect from the body, or you come but have no relational capital with anyone here, you cut yourself off from the very system that God has designed for your growth and maturity. You deprive yourself of the gifts Christ has placed in others that are meant specifically for your benefit. And just as importantly, others miss out on the gifts Christ has placed in you for their benefit.

Here’s another thing that we need to be mindful of: We cannot grow unless we are serving others. Even if you come every week to hear the teaching, but you choose not to engage in the work of the ministry that you have been created to do, it’s not possible for you to grow – at least not in a healthy way. Growth requires not only input, but also output. Look at this quote by Tim Keller:

A person who is just coming to church and sitting and… not doing and helping, not ministering, not working, not putting out, but is just taking in, is like somebody who says, “I want to be in great physical shape, but I don’t want to do any exercise. I just want to sit and eat all day, sleep all day, and I want to be as fit as a fiddle.”

You look at that person and say, “Can’t be done.” There has to be a balance between the exercise (the burning of the calories) and the taking in of the calories. You have to burn them. Now if you burn them, and you’re not taking any in, that’s burnt out, of course. If you’re taking them in, and you’re not burning anything up, you’ll become bloated. (Tim Keller)

Serving others is absolutely necessary for our growth. You know, some of the articles that I referenced earlier about perpetual adolescence gave a few descriptors about those individuals. For starters, they are marked by a lack of responsibility – especially any responsibility that requires a commitment to others. They also have a lack of regard for how their behavior affects others; and a preoccupation with activities that reflect extended youth culture. In essence, they are self-centered and comfort seeking. Immaturity is marked by a tendency to use people and love things. But the Christlike maturity that we are being called to is the opposite: We are to love people and use things.

I wish the growth process was more automatic. Wouldn’t it be amazing if on our birthday we became significantly more mature than we were a year ago? But as we all know, gray hair is not evidence of wisdom. And putting your faith in Jesus does not guarantee spiritual maturity – regardless of how long ago you made that decision. If you are not already on the path of seeking to grow, would you make that commitment today?

RESPONSES

Maybe for some of you, you actually need to start with placing your faith in Jesus – becoming that spiritual baby; which again, is not a negative thing. We all started there.

The next step for others of you is to join a team – to begin burning some of the calories you have been taking in.

For others, it might be making a greater commitment to a small group of people here – beginning to build that relational capital.